Category: stupid

Stupid Gun Inventions: The Small Of the Back Holster

Posted by – April 9, 2009

This is least concealable, least comfortable, least retainable, and one of the most unsafe holster designs ever.

First and foremost drawing the pistol without flagging yourself and everyone else is pretty darn difficult. Additionally when your draw stroke requires you to place yourself in an armbar (i.e. the hammer lock) to get your pistol out you should probably re-think your gear.

Re-holstering is a nightmare, because your support hand is probably going to need to clear the concealment garment out of the way, and we kick off the chain of events known as the “two handed re-holster” and a gunshot wound to the support hand.

That bump at the small of your back will print in any position other than standing upright. All holsters will print in some specific circumstances, but unlike other holsters there really isn’t a way to camouflage this with an arm or a hand.

Having a lump of metal at the base of your spine will make sitting uncomfortable and the gun very difficult to access from a seated position. Falling (or getting thrown) on to your back will only make your chiropractor and your assailant happy. In a fight that goes to the ground you are going to have a very hard time getting to the gun from a supine position.

Retaining the holstered pistol is going to be tough because it is much harder to get a hand on the gun for the wearer than it is for an assailant that is approaching from behind. That hammer-lock draw stroke isn’t going help either.

Stupid Self Defense Gadget: The Bottle Bezel

Posted by – March 14, 2009

bezel1This is replacement cap for your disposable water bottle. From the website:

Why not use it to defend yourself? The Bottle Bezel has a checkered, “tenderizer” top surface, with 6 serrated, trapezoid petals that surround it. It can be used 4 standard ways, regular grip, inverted grip, gouging mode, or as a weighted flail with accessory lanyard.

I believe that you can probably get some self-defense value out of a water bottle, but just making the cap bumpy or pointy isn’t going to be enough. I hadn’t really considered using my water bottle as an improvised weapon since it is usually only in hand when I am drinking out of it.



Weaponized bottle? My standard water bottle is stainless steel. I bought mine to carry liquids in volume so it is a bit bigger (40oz.) than most regular water bottles (32oz.) but it would hit like a bat and be in no danger of breaking. I suppose I could down size it to the 27oz. size and it would be a little more suited to gripping.


Weaponized cap? The standard cap doesn’t have anything to scratch the opponent or whatever the “Bottle Bezel” is supposed to do for you but I am sure getting hit with the business end of the cap full force would probably leave a mark. I think I am going to stick with actual weapons rather than trying to make every day items into weapons.

Stupid knife ideas: Neck knives

Posted by – December 30, 2008

I am a big fan of knives for self defense purposes, but I cannot figure out when and how a neck-knife is going to get used in this role. Unless you get it out before the physical fight starts it’s probably not going to end up in your hands.

Because the knife is suspended like a pendulum by neck cord, it is always going to be in a different place. As soon as you start moving the knife is going to begin to swing. If you are taken to the ground there is a good chance that the knife is going to end up in your armpit.

Most neck knives are suspended from a break-away chain (to prevent you from getting choked with the cord) but if grabbed you stand a fair chance of loosing the knife because of the breakaway chain.

If the neck knife is worn concealed (under a shirt) I don’t think there is much chance of getting to it once the fight starts. If the assailant gets any sort of “mount” (what was once called the “Schoolboy pin”) It’s going to be a challenge to get that knife working. If the knife isn’t concealed it is pretty inviting for the assailant to grab, especially since it is pre-positioned over your vitals.

Stupid Gun Inventions: Rubber Grip Sleeves

Posted by – December 15, 2008

Assuming a person has something approaching normal size hands I cannot figure out why anyone would want to make their pistol “fatter.” After a certain point the wider the grip, the harder it is to hold onto. Since the grip sleeve isn’t actually affixed to the pistol (except by its own tension) they are susceptible to turning and shifting, especially in hot climates. Moisture has a tendency to get beneath the sleeve and the actual grip panels. On metal framed guns this can promote rust, and any grit that gets between the sleeve and the frame can grind through the finish. Rubber grips also tend to stick to clothing more than wood or plastic. 

If you really need a “fatter” a grip then replace the grip panels, but for most people this isn’t really necessary. I replaced the grip panels on one of my 1911s in favor of panels that were even slimmer than stock. If a single stack pistol is too slim for your hands then why not get a double stack gun?